La Bonbonniere — The Diner Enthusiast

I’m sorry I have not posted a review in some time. My youngest son Ned forcibly removed me from my apartment and placed me in an old person home called A Wrinkle in Time this past February. I played the long con and pretended to enjoy it for ten months to gain the staff’s trust.

And then, just two weeks ago on a foggy Tuesday night, I asked Ronalda, the supervisor on shift, for a curfew extension to practice my heimlich maneuver thrusts in the aerobics room. She did not know that I had tripped the aerobics room’s emergency exit alarm earlier that morning after ‘accidentally’ shoving Bernie Rheinhart through it during our Jersey Boys rehearsal for the upcoming talent show.

The alarm has to be reset manually even after it’s disabled. So, I walked right out in the darkest hours of the night, just after 8pm.

One of my first stops as a free man on the run was at La Bonbonniere, located on 8th Avenue just a few blocks south of 14th street.

The diner aesthetic

Believe me, this is a diner, not a French discotheque, as its name suggests. The walls were not quite straight, the ceiling fans not quite secured. A rolling haze of grease left a schmear of salty residue on the linoleum seat cushions. I appreciated the cutout wall decorations, in particular the framed poster of corned beef hash, which I do love.

The Diner Enthusiast says: "Yes, good. This is nice design."

The Service

I do not believe I have ever experienced better service at a diner. My order was served to me within five minutes. My coffee was refilled promptly with minimal spillage. My water was served in a sturdy, thick glass, which I admire because I know firsthand how expensive glassware is today.

The Diner Enthusiast says: "Fast. Efficient. Good glass."

The food

The food at La Bonbonniere is not French. But, it is French in the sense that it is fine dining.

Here is what I ordered:

Coffee, black.
Two eggs, over-easy. Homefries.
Pancakes, blueberry.

~The coffee

Easily the weakest part of the meal, the coffee was just mediocre. Was it better than McDonald’s coffee? No, absolutely not. But, yes, it was significantly better than the coffee Ronalda made for Bernie and I back at A Wrinkle in Time.

~The eggs and hashbrowns

The eggs were cooked exactly right, good enough for me to forgive the under-salted homefries, which I salted manually. My backstabbing son Ned, who will never find me, is a technology wizard and would certainly take a food self-portrait picture with these eggs and hashbrowns.

~The blueberry pancakes

At first glance, I was underwhelmed by the blueberry pancakes.

But, then, I lifted the first pancake up, and a delectable inner layer of fresh blueberries revealed itself to me.

These pancakes were fresh, moist, and the right combination of fluffy and sexy, just like my 2nd ex-wife. I would eat them again.

The Diner Enthusiast says: "Fine dining at a diner."

The price

In total, my bill was $16.32. I was in the giving spirit and handed my server a twenty-dollar bill while only asking for $3 back.

It should be noted that La Bonbonniere is a cash-only establishment. I do not believe in credit or banks, and it is nice to see that some businesses still feel the same way.

closing remarks

I enjoyed my time and freedom at La Bonbonniere. Young men, if you’re looking to impress any ladies on a first date, tell them to meet you here.

And Ned, if you are reading this, know that you will never find me. I am too quick for you.

Discussion Points

Diners are not black and white. My goal is to discuss diners, not to review them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I’ve left a few discussion points below to help start your conversations in the comments section.

Hashbrowns vs homefries. Please discuss.
Why do you think the name is in French?
Can someone explain to me what a bitcoin is? I keep hearing about bitcoins. I have not seen any. But I collect coins so I would like to have one.